ESPN's 'Ultimate Remote' is the swiss army knife of remote controls

ESPN is releasing a new remote control for sports-loving couch potatoes, and it's so confident about its creation that it's dubbed it the "Ultimate Remote" and has decided to charge a serious $300 for it. What makes a remote ultimate and worth $300? A whole bunch of doodads, that's what. Not only does it, you know, control your home theater equipment like any good remote control should, but it can also load up ESPN internet content such as live scores, allowing you to follow stats on games you're watching or on games you aren't watching because you're watching another game. It can load up program guides so you don't need to do it on the TV itself, and it can even send text messages for some silly reason. But hey, for $300 I'd expect the thing to have some crazy functions